Another Bat. Same Roster Traffic Jam.

The Red Sox need a bat. Apparently, they also need a moving company.

Before Boston brings another designated hitter through the front door, somebody has to explain why the living room already has three couches and nobody can sit down.

Teoscar Hernández is the latest name worth discussing as baseball’s general managers gather this week. There is a sensible baseball argument here. There is also a familiar Boston problem: acquiring a player is only useful if somebody has figured out how the entire roster is supposed to work.

We have reached the part of the offseason where “he would look great at Fenway” needs to be followed by an actual sentence.

First, the distinction that tends to get flattened on the way to your social feed: Peter Abraham’s November 8 Globe column floated Hernández as a potential trade fit at DH. That is a proposal, not confirmation that Boston and Los Angeles are negotiating.

The Globe’s case is straightforward: Boston finished 2026 ranked 23rd in runs, 26th in home runs and 20th in slugging. Hernández is 34, and Shohei Ohtani occupies the DH position in Los Angeles. Abraham reported a $22.2 million salary for Hernández in 2027, including $8 million deferred, with a club option for 2028.

Those are reasons to investigate. They are not reasons to order the jersey.

There is no verified asking price in the reporting cited here. There is no agreed package. And there is certainly no obligation for the Dodgers to solve Boston’s problems because somebody drew arrows on a depth chart.

Stephen Parello’s November 9 analysis at BoSox Injection supplies the necessary cold shower: Hernández’s .840 OPS and 33 homers in 2024 became a .738 OPS in 2025 and a .759 OPS with 16 home runs in an injury-limited 2026.

That does not make…